Change

I was watching Dr Phil today (hey, I need to do something while I'm ironing my piles of washing!) and there was a young girl talking about her addiction to shopping. The rush she got when she bought something, and how good it felt to come home and put it in her closet. That was me. I created so many problems for my family by my need to buy new clothes, jewellery, and make-up. I always needed more things, I couldn't tell you why, I just needed more.

I was shopping with my husband the other day and he convinced me to try some things on. They were so beautiful and I felt so good in them but when it came to buying them I was calm and logical and I worked out what I really did need and whether or not it would fit into our very tight budget. I felt liberated. I knew we could afford it, I didn't buy too much, I knew I needed it and I have worn it dozens of times since I bought it. But it didn't have any effect on my self-esteem or my self-image.

God has changed me. I know who I am and I don't need 'things' or people to help define me anymore. I feel so free, like I'm flying inside, or more like I am a beautiful flower, blossoming. I didn't even recognise the change happening but when I look back I can't believe the person I have turned into. No longer do I have to conform to societies idea of who I should be! I am anti-conformist! (I am also turning into a hippy, but that's a story for another day!)